Father’s Day carries a weight of emotion for me. Being a man in my twenties, it’s difficult for me to process how I feel. Father’s Day, twelve years ago, was the last time I would see my dad as he was going out of state to preach at a youth camp. The following weekend, I would talk with him on the phone, hearing his genuine voice say to his fifteen year old son, “I love you, and I’m proud of you.” The next phone call I received later that night was the news of his sudden death. He was 47.
Society categorized me as a fatherless child — now, a teenager with daddy issues. Every year around this time, I’m reminded of these truths: my dad’s not here. He wasn’t there for my graduations. He wasn’t there to answer my questions, discipline me when I needed it, or comfort me when I was confused. He missed my wedding day. He won’t be here to hold my children. Of course I still wish my dad was here, but I know I’ll see him again the day I see Jesus. I can’t wait for that day! Some days are better than others, but this has become my reality. I had to grow up fast, keep my head, and trust God as my Father in heaven.
My greatest desire is to one day be a father and teach my kids the father’s love that I experienced for fifteen years. It seems appropriate that this desire is God’s desire for every man, but I never thought I would have to wait this long. To make my daddy issues even worse, my wife and I struggled with infertility for a year, unable to produce the child we felt so strongly God wanted us to have. If that didn’t mess with my masculinity, the events that followed surely would. In 2013, I contracted an infection that nearly took my life after a week of testing and monitoring in the hospital with no diagnosis. My father died at 47, his brother died in a plane crash with his fiancée at 23, and with no living grandfathers, my family history reveals a pattern of early death. At 24, I refused to allow this to be my story! I believed in the same promise God gave Jeremiah: “For I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal, declares the Lord.” (Jeremiah 30:17)
God healed me from a disease the specialists could not diagnose, and I continue to trust that He is restoring me completely.
In May 2014, Bethany had her first positive pregnancy test! Just a few weeks following, I was leading a mission trip to Nicaragua when I received an international phone call from my wife with the news that our baby would not make it to full term, and the pregnancy was no longer viable. I can’t tell you how caught off guard I was that I would not get to hold our miracle child. There I was on a beach in Nicaragua ministering to fatherless children, crying out to God for a miracle for our own child. I received no answer. I had become so familiar with God’s voice and His faithfulness in our lives, but there in that moment I felt betrayed. I didn’t understand how God was good, but somehow I still knew it. I was reminded of another promise God gave to Jeremiah: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.” (Jeremiah 31:3)
The creation account in Genesis tells us we are created in His image, not only as sons and daughters, but the very character of God that spoke the world into existence is alive in the heart of every believer. I believe this truth. Just as I was was born to be a son, I was born to be a father. I would lean on this truth as we would journey through the loss of five more pregnancies from 2014 to 2016. I’m not fatherless. I have a heavenly Father. I’m His son, and I’m created in His image. I’m no less a father! When I get to heaven and see Jesus, I will hold my six children. I’m only a little jealous that my dad gets to hold them first. God blessed my family with an amazing step-father who loves my mom, but nothing compares to the love of our heavenly father.
I find comfort in knowing that I’m not alone in my generation. My story is different than your story, but I identify myself with sons who do not have the presence of an earthy father in their lives. My beautiful wife, Bethany, is an inspiration to me of what it means to be strong, courageous, and hope in Jesus. We’ve given Jesus permission to author our story, and He will be faithful to complete it. Our story is still being written, but we’re excited to announce the news that Bethany is pregnant again! In fact, we just met with our perinatologist on Tuesday, June 14 to witness our 10 week baby dancing in Bethany’s womb with a strong and healthy heartbeat! This is the furthest we’ve been along in any of our pregnancies, but we have a peace in our hearts because our hope is not in the outcome… our hope is in Jesus. We know we will hold this baby in our arms, and our prayer is we get to hold our baby this side of heaven.
So happy Father’s Day to every son, every father, marked in the very image of God. Whether you have the privilege to spend time with your children this season or you are awaiting to be reunited when we see Jesus, remember that you are no less a father.
Guest entry by: Griffin McGrath
Amazing! Proud to call you both friends, love you guys.
Thank you for sharing your heart!! What a beautiful testimony of endurance through such heartache and your faith in the Heavenly Father is an inspiration for me to keep pressing on!! Happy Fathers Day🎁
Beautiful tribute to such an encouraging happy giving father. He and Rick Ryan were so good to include our son Dustin, the MK without his youth group and no new friends yet in Costa Rica, with their AIM team . You had one of the best examples of selflessness, Griffin.
You and Bethany are SO LOVED! All of your friends stand together in thanksgiving and prayer for a very healthy pregnancy and healthy baby in 30 more weeks! Bless you, Griffin and Bethany!
This is so encouraging and a great reminder that one day I will hold all my babies again. I also experienced 9 miscarriages in through my marriage and God still manage to bless me with my beautiful baby girl. Even though I am raising her completely on my own. Your story also reminds me that she isn’t fatherless because she has our Heavenly Father. Praying for a healthy pregnancy for y’all and what a blessing each child is you and Bethany are going to be such amazing parents. So happy for you both.
The true test of leadership is the character that is revealed when dreams are deferred. It has been one of my greatest joys to have known your dad and called him “friend.” Today I read you post and can clearly see that what your father deposited into your life in the time he had was authentic leadership cloaked in Godly character. Proud of you and Bethany!
This is so peer up! Thank you for sharing! You guys are in my prayers!
Beautifully written and very touching, Griffin. You have some really great reminders here, and it’s clear you lean on a great relationship with both your wife and creator. We love you guys!
Wow, Griffin. That was so insightful and encouraging and a bit sad. I love you!!
Wow! I don’t know what to say but I have tears in my eyes as I read your posts! Thank you for sharing your heart! I love how you say God is the Author of your story. This blessed me and encouraged me in so many ways! I love you guys and love how you stand together! A true example of marriage! ❤️ You guys!
An amazing story from a special person filled with God’s love. I especially loved hearing just a little news about my McGrath family. all these years on father’s day I always wonder about who my father was. the only father I know is God and that is the best of the best. I know God will bless you and Bethany with a beautiful and healthy child. God bless you
Beautiful words, beautiful heart!
Congratulations!
Your dad was a Godly influence on many including my 3 kids in Prescott, AZ!
Praying for a healthy baby for you!
Griffin, having the privilege to watch you both live this out in real time I can truly say that all your days of faithful consistency is reaping so much. You are the lifeline to so many. Honored to call you and Bethany friends.
Your dad was amazing, he made an impact on our lives and those of our kids, and we saw you boys and your mom each year at camps. Been following your story and praying for you both. Your story is inspiring. Thank you both for being so transparent in sharing.
Well said and well lived standing on generations of faith and holding on a lifeline of hope in a strong family ( blood and spiritual) who surround you with love . You two are loved and admired! So happy for this blessing.
[…] to share my story, but someone needs to hear your story. Last year, I wrote a blog entry entitled, No Less a Father for the purpose of encouraging men to not view themselves in the hope that one day, they will be a […]